One Year! Saucy Gets Married
One year from today I will stand on a beach next to Ryan with our families looking on and he will make me the happiest girl in the world with only 2 little words – “I Do.”
I can’t believe it’s still a year away. But I also can’t believe we ONLY have a year left. Planning is coming REALLY well and we both feel really comfortable with all of that. This weekend we’ll visit our darling niece and Ryan’s brother (before he heads back to Florida) and if the rain holds out we’ll be making our final decision about our ceremony location (although we’re both 95% sure we already know which beach it will be). We’ll also go out to dinner tonight to celebrate the date (a pre-anniversary?).
Many people ask how we feel about getting married…again. Most people are very considerate when asking and not once have I taken offense to the question. I get it. I’ve wondered it myself. But you know what. I have ZERO doubts that Ryan is not only the man of my dreams but he is THE ONE.
I was one of those girls who grew up dreaming of a wedding. Of marrying the man of my dreams surrounded by the people who love us. When I married my first husband, it felt like the next logical progression in our relationship. That’s not to say I didn’t love him but he wasn’t the man I imagined waiting for me at the end of the aisle to spend my forever with. I dismissed that feeling as cold feet and spent 2 years trying to make a square peg fit in a round hole. We didn’t work. It doesn’t mean either of us did anything wrong, we just took a step we shouldn’t have taken. We learned a lot. About each other. About ourselves. About what we wanted out of life and out of a partner – and we learned what we DIDN’T want from those things. We grew into two VERY different people than those 17 year old kids who fell in love and decided to get married at 24. I don’t regret getting married or divorced. After all, it led me here. It lead me to Ryan.
It lead me to a man that accepts me as I am. The messy, emotional, sensitive me. And that’s saying something! It lead me to a man that taught me I am stronger than I ever imagined or gave myself credit for. He taught me its ok to cry about the small stuff as long as I accept that sometimes situations are out of my hands. He taught me that my diabetes doesn’t make me an invalid or damaged goods but allows me opportunities to do one of my favorite things – educate. He has taught me more lessons about myself in 4.5 years than I imagined possible. I can only hope I’ve given him a fraction of that for himself.
So no, I am not afraid to get married again. Because I know this time is real. Ryan has always been the man in my dreams waiting for me at the end of the aisle. I can’t wait to meet him there and start our journey as husband & wife. I can’t wait to share that journey with all of you! xoxo