I am sorry. There, I said it. I have been slacking in the writing department as of late (you know, because not posting in almost a month makes me a good blogger. Duh!) I have no real excuses – and don’t particularly feel a need to make any. There are a lot of posts I keep intending to write. A lot of posts I keep promising to write (promising you AND me). But it hasn’t happened, which adds to my growing pile of discouragements and let downs that seems to have started smothering me as of late. So I’m done. Not with blogging though. I’m done feeling bad about NOT blogging. This is supposed to be enjoyable & therapeutic for me and having to put it on a to do list removes the pleasurable aspects. So maybe this will be the start of blogging again, a first step if you will. And maybe you won’t hear from me for a while. But I do promise to get better about reading and commenting on other blogs because that’s more than being a good blogger, that’s being a good friend.
With that said, I have prepared a bullet list to help you & I catch up (and by catch up I of course mean, “bore you with details and shock you with TMI.” Don’t say I didn’t warn you!)
I haven’t really talked a lot about how Baby had progressed since I first told you about him here. But I want you to know he’s thriving. He has amazed us and his doctors. He is gaining weight (he’s such a little chunker now!!!). He is blind, but he can hear. He stretches and smiles and coos. He is such an amazing part of our lives and despite my initial misgivings, I can’t imagine how life would be without my little brother. My nephews love him and he returns the feelings. I accompanied my parents to a hearing about 6 weeks ago where a few important topics were discussed. There was not a dry eye in the house during moments of testimony about Baby’s progress, the judge called my parents “angels” and everyone in the courtroom (just us, a few attorneys, a bailiff, court reporter and a DCF worker), including the judge, held him. It was such an amazing afternoon (we also visited the facility where he lived between the hospital and my parents. They don’t get to see babies after they leave very often, so this was also an emotional morning). There have been many more highs than lows and I am so thankful for the gifts Baby has brought to my family.
Well, it’s not news that diabetes still sucks. I got insurance approval on what I needed and am beginning to fight for some other items whose coverage would make life significantly easier (I need Tegaderm. I am going to try to get a prescription for it. Anyone have luck or advice with this? It’s for my Dexcom Seven Plus which loses its stickiness after just a few days – with or without SkinTac. Boo!). Other than that, my insulin needs have come down (hooray!) and I’m battling persistent lows (not fun – but I’d rather lows than highs!). I’m working out REALLY hard (more on that in a later bullet point) and trying to embrace my body (I wrote a POEM about my body. WHAT?!). But I’ve also had: weeks where I had SIX different medical appointments, an ER visit, a stomach emptying study that required me to eat radioactive eggs (and made me soooo sick! Oh, and showed nothing), healed my hip and tailbone to almost complete and started two prescription meds to help clear up my skin issues I’ve been having. So health wise life has been crazy but in mostly a positive way.
Well I FINALLY sold my car and used the money to (go away for a bachelorette party weekend and) buy new bikes for FF & I!!! I have been riding that thing everywhere (TWSS!)! I am even riding it 5 (+/-) to meet FF for the gym. I am exercising before I exercise!!! WHO AM I?! Seriously though, I am really proud of what I am doing for my body. I see it reflected in my blood sugars and in the mirror. The scale isn’t showing what I like, and I could use some diet changes (broken tailbone followed by months of unemployment = growing waistline), but I am still proud. I’m now combining 4 lifting workouts with at least 1 30 minute run and several bikerides (ranging from 5-10 miles each). I have a bridesmaid dress to wear on 7/30 and I want to look good. I think I’m on the right track.
One thing my unemployment has required FF & I to do is take a good, hard look at our budget. We didn’t really have one before. We were working out of two different bank accounts and always playing catch up. I sat down one day and developed a spreadsheet that worked for US. I have our monthly bills (rent, utilities, gasoline, insurance, cell phones, Netflix etc.), weekly checks, wants (groceries, entertainment, copays etc) and I’ve built in formulas to tell me when it’s paid, how it’s paid and how much we owe at any given time. This has also caused us to look at some of our monthly bills and trying to see where we can cut down. One place was groceries. We took an inventory of our pantry and began meal planning and making serious grocery lists. This has been a HUGE help. We’re also looking into combining our cell phone plans (we’re currently on different networks with different contract expiration dates – ick!) and cutting down our discs at a time from Netflix. Those little changes help us to throw a BBQ, go out for a meal or do some other fun activity that currently feels a bit extravagant. And we are not nearly stressed all the time about money. We both use phone banking and I have a mobile app so in addition to our budget spreadsheet we always have a real time view of what’s going on. It’s kinda awesome in a nerdy way. Up next? Coupons!
- Job Hunt
It’s been four months since I lost my job. We’ve clearly learned financially how to deal with this situation. Mentally it’s been a bit tougher. Some weeks I don’t want to look for jobs. I don’t want to continue to put myself out there and be rejected time after time after time. I am trying to turn my attitude around. It’s time to pull myself out of this funk and show employers what they’re missing out on. A company will be lucky to have me – and when I can truly accept that and put myself forward that way, a job will be mine. Maybe tomorrow…time will tell.
So there are the biggies in my life right now. I hope to be around more. On Twitter. On your blogs. Writing here. I make no promises, but I have my fingers and my toes (and maybe my eyes!) crossed that it will be so. XO