The Night My Coworkes Met The Real Saucy
When I started at my current company almost 3 years ago, I knew NO ONE I worked with or even anyone in the area I was working/living in. Because I was a smoker at the time, the first people I got to know were other smokers. At that time, both my current boss (who is not my original boss) and my coworker were also smokers (all three of us are now smoke free – it’s been three months today for me! WAHOO!). Anyway, when people first meet me, I seem shy & quiet. I can assure you, this is not the case. I just like to make sure someone can handle the “real me” before I let it out. I’d been working with these people for months and they kept inviting me to go out with them. In August or September when Ginger and I were on the outs, I decided to join them for an open house/karaoke night at the American Legion. I went, I drank, I laughed. It was fun. Then I saw a cute boy. Since Ginger and I were no longer “technically” together (I had moved out, but we were still sleeping together. Duh!) I decided to make a move. I told the ladies I was with that by the end of that night, that boy would have bought me a drink. They laughed. In their minds there was NO WAY that was gonna happen. After all, I was too shy. HA!
No more than 10 minutes passed and I approached said cute boy. I said to him, “I have a bet with my friends that I can get you to buy me a drink. If you help me win, I’ll buy you a drink to thank you.” (Hello – I am ALWAYS thinking. This is a win/win. He buys me a drink, I win my bet with the girls. I get to know him better. If he’s a dud or a doofus, I can buy him the drink I owe him and we can be even. He can’t use the drink he bought me as leverage for ANYTHING. Me? Always thinking. Win!) So I went back to my bar stool and he showed up with a Miller Lite. Score! The girls were speechless. It was awesome! I learned his name, his career and a little bit about him. He genuinely seemed pretty cool. After a few minutes he went back to his group of friends and I said I would be over in a bit with his thank you drink. The girls swarmed around me demanding to know how I made it happen (PS – they thought I went to the bathroom and had NO IDEA I had spoken with Cute Boy beforehand). They said, “How did you do that?!” And in my giddy, alcohol fueled attitude I said, “If you have a vagina, you can do it.” That folks is awesome advice and any man will attest it’s true. Come up to a man in a bar and be honest like I was and it will work EVERY TIME. (Sorry to give away the secret guys – remember though, I did buy him a drink too!). Anyway, the girls had no idea that I had this side to me and they DIED of laughter – and insisted I join them every time they went out 🙂
And that is why today after recounting Maw Maw’s awesome line from Raising Hope last night (didn’t see it? I tried to find a clip & couldn’t. But Chloris Leachman’s character on that show is HYSTERICAL! If you haven’t seen the show – you HAVE to. This, Outsourced and Mike & Molly are THE new shows of 2010. Anyway, she dressed as Joseph for a living nativity scene and as she looked at the facial hair that had been pasted on she said, “who moved my vagina?” OMG!!! Soo funny. there were tears STREAMING down my face after that one! – you can watch the episode on Hulu – I strongly urge you to do so. It’s called “Toy Story.) that both my boss and coworker said that the word vagina makes them think of me. And that? Is A-Ok with me XO