First off, I’m cancelling my birthday. I’m keeping the main plans I had for the week with FF & my family, but I’m cancelling my friends. On Wednesday, my actual birthday, FF is arranging dinner. I don’t know if we’re eating in or out, alone or with others. I’m looking forward to a little surprise 🙂 After dinner we’ll go to one of my favorite bars (and one of FF’s least favorite) to listen to my good friend Chad Hollister. I might let some people know I will be there, and I might not. On Thursday, we will have dinner with my family(mom, dad, Sis, BIL, Bman & JD). I’ve already requested stuffed pork chops, mashed potatoes & green bean casserole for dinner. Yum! Friday I’m hoping to finally see Eat, Pray, Love with KP & Mamacita (my only friends who have also read the book – and liked it!) and then hit the town with FF for some dancing at a local club’s 90’s night. On Saturday I’ll be at a pig roast celebrating the 30th birthday of BGF’s hubby. I’m very much looking forward to it as I haven’t seen much of them lately. And their parties are ALWAYS a blast! FF & I have also discussed doing some apple picking before the party since it always makes me think of how we celebrated my birthday growing up & there’s an orchard very close to the party site.
So yes, I will still be celebrating. After all, I am turning THIRTY!!!!! But I will be celebrating with people who haven’t let me down – FF & my family. I love birthday parties. I have thrown my own birthday party for the last 9 years. My 21st birthday sucked. All my friends deserted me and I went out with my cousins. DOn’t get me wrong, I had a great time. But after all I’d done for my friends, they let me down when I needed them. So for 22, I threw my own party. Did a little downtown bar hopping. Arranged a meet up at my house and once we got downtown we were headed to a particular bar. After that, who knew? I also had my father lined up as a DD with his van to get everyone home safely. Awesomeness! My 25th was a Survivor premiere party (it premiers on my bday again this year!) Twenty sixth birthday was my first time singing with a live band. It was amazing! 27 introduced me to Ginger where I invited 3 different boys (and MANY other friends!) I liked to join me for dinner at the local Japanese steakhouse & then downtown for pitchers of beer and Sox v Yankees. 28 was kinda quiet. Sis, BIL, Mamacita, RO, KP, a few other friends and Ginger (we had separated but were still “hanging out”) went to karaoke. The night ended with me in a breakdown but I still have great memories of the wonderful friends that made it out to celebrate with me. Last year? Was CRAZY! The day started with me, Lucy and MC headed to Montpelier so I could sit in with the Chad Hollister Band at a fundraiser. Then onto the bowling alley where a few more friends joined in. Then to T-Bones (where FF met up with the crew when he was finally done with work) where I participated in open mic night AND sat in with the host for a few tunes. Then downtown for some 80’s night dancing. It was great! I was all over the place doing things that everyone loved and could join in at any time. Only wanna dance? Ok, see you at 11. Wanna see me sing? Bus leaves at noon. It worked. But this year, I REALLY wanted a house party.
I threw (what was supposed to be a surprise – another story for another time) party for FF’s Dirty 30 in January. I bought decorations, a keg & planned/made a ton of delicious food. We had music, friends, cake, beer pong, beer, food & dancing. It was a blast! I wanted much the same for me. Problem? We live in a pretty tiny condo with some seriously uptight neighbors so our place is out of the question. We have a few friends who have houses that are usually the party throwers. It’s common for people to “borrow” their places in order to throw party. As long as you’re willing to help clean & you provide everything, it’s not a problem. The first thought was use the same house I borrowed for FF’s. But wait! Another friend offers HIS house for my party. Score! So I check with the girlfriend a week or so later. No dice 😦 Her birthday is the 11th so they’ll be having a party for her a week before I wanted to have mine. So I went back to the original plan. If I would have asked a week earlier? Would have been on like Donkey Kong. But because I waited due to thinking I had a place, they now had family coming that weekend & staying with them. Shit! So FF said he would take care of it. He had some thoughts. Ahh, what a guy! Well, another friend who owned a house came over a few nights later & offered the use of his. SCORE! Problem? He couldn’t do the 17th 😦 And hasn’t gotten around to letting us know if the 24th or 25th would work. So the other day I tried one last friend who has a house. Three days after I left her a VM asking, I got a text saying no.
Add all that drama to the fact that my joint birthday party last month was not attended by ANY of the friends that I invited (and who said they were coming) except for the girls also turning 30 and my awesome family. That kind of shit all ganged up on me and I tweeted FF that no party was to happen. I even texted the friend who was going to make my cake (chocolate kahlua cake with whipped cream nutella frosting!) and told her to forget it.
I’m sad I won’t be having a party. Especially because it’s my THIRTIETH (have I mentioned that yet? 🙂 ) but I’m excited I’ve made plans that I’ll truly enjoy with people I love and I know love me. Maybe this is the change I needed. I need to pare down my “friends.” I’ve decided that now that I’m entering a new decade, I’m going to become more selfish. More time for me. More time with people who truly want to spend time with me. Time to take care of my body and my mind (starting with quitting smoking – 36+ hours smoke free!). Time to rid myself of “friends” who are time suckers, drama creators, shit disturbers & users. XOXO