So my heart has been warmed with sweet comments from some of my favorite people that I don’t even know (in real life – but I feel like I do)! Thank you so much Blair, Jen and Erin – you guys are wonderful and I enjoy your blogs oh so much! It’s funny because I’m currently wrestling with how public or anonymous I want to keep this blog. I was thinking last night about discussing it with the boyfriend (whom I call FF – to be explained in a later post) but he even thinks Twitter is stupid and oversharing so it was something I wasn’t sure about. And then we watched the episode of House we taped Monday night (three cheers for DVR!).
Laura Prepon guest starred and a HUGE part of who she was revolved around her blog. She was asking her readers for their opinions on her medical options (plastic heart valve or one from a pig?). She talked about how she loved the internet because you could find people just like yourself and make a connection. She also discussed how it was easier than having a relationship because she always knew what her readers were thinking. Now, she was in a relationship and she complained to her boyfriend that she felt like she never knew what he was thinking and she wishes he had a blog. That’s when FF looked at me and said, “I don’t feel that way. I always tell you what I’m thinking and I don’t hold anything back.” It was all I could do to keep my jaw from hitting the floor. He’s right – we are both so amazingly honest with each other (he will tell me if an outfit makes me look “less than perfect” and I love him for it!).
So why do I feel this need to blog? I guess I agree with the character and I do feel like I’ve made a connection with people over the internets. I like the feeling of people listening to me and what I have to say and taking it at face value because they don’t actually know me. I can say WHATEVER I WANT and it’s safe. Yes, I’ve read enough blogs to know that readers aren’t always kind. And I know whatever I say to FF is always safe (he’s even told me he loves be not just despite my craziness, but even because of it – swoon!) I suppose sometimes I want to think someone can actually trace my train of thought and totally get it.
I don’t wanna become that person who blogs at every corner. I don’t think you wanna hear about how many times a day I go to the bathroom. My medical decisions are mine and I would trust my doctor and myself with those things. I might discuss them here from time to time but I’m not going to post a poll asking people what they think I should do. I guess it just comes down to how much I love where my life is at and I want to share that with people. I want others to do know that even in the depths of despair, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel and things will get better – I’ve been there, I know (a diabetes diagnosis one day, husband leaving you the next, finding out lil sis is prego the day after that = big time suckfest). I want to share the amazing things FF does and says. I want to share how adorably cute my nephews are (Bman was singing “Ole Ole” in the tub last night and splashing around – oh to be two years old again!). I want to share my ideas about wedding planning and coordinating any kind of social function (I’m currently planning a goddess swap and a book club – to be discussed more later as well! Is this teasing working – will you keep coming back?). I want to discuss books, food, movies and music. I want input on those same things. So I think for now, I’m going to keep this blog up and be honest but I think I’ll stay your Saucy Redhead for now and everyone else in my life will retain some anonymity too (which they deserve). So I’ll keep writing and we’ll see where things go. Thanks for reading XO